Re-storying: Changing the course of your future through the story you tell about yourself.

Upon being sick recently, a dear friend made the suggestion to re-story my health. In other words, to tell myself I am healthy and whole. She was right of course, but re-storying is more than just positive thinking. It requires an in-depth look at the story we are telling, an understanding of what that story means, and enough imagination to change the course of that story toward a new ending. And, you must believe it will work.

A basic understanding of story structure, particularly of the hero’s journey tale is important too.

Story Structure

Story structure looks a lot like a roller coaster ride with a very gradual rise to the top and a steep quick run down the other side. Some stories will have many such rises and falls, each one getting smaller in size until a final episode wraps up the whole thing. But most stories can be looked at as one hill. The most level part at the beginning introduces setting, time, characters and sometimes a problem, although the depth of the problem unfolds gradually in the rise. More details become evident as we climb that hill, we receive a plot and foreshadowing of the climax.

When we hit the top of that hill, we pretty much know everyone and everything except a resolution. We now look over the top of the hill and see the steep drop before us and realize the full scope of the journey we have taken and the danger we face. It is here at the top that characters have their ah hah moment, the climax. Coming quickly down the other side of this hill we find answers, say a few hail Mary’s, hope for the best, and resolve the problem to come to an end that makes sense and is satisfying.

It is at the climax or hilltop that re-storying takes place at its fullest. By that I mean, we sometimes realize part way up that we need to do something and we may unknowingly put in to motion some change but until we have the journey behind us and all the information in it, we cannot effect that change. Using my illness as an example may be helpful. (You can insert almost any event that troubles your heart or physical health.)

Sample Story

I began to feel sick, the symptoms included a sore throat and lethargy. But was I sick? I couldn’t know. A sore throat might have been from the artificial heat in the car or my family’s homes. The lethargy could have been too much fun and turkey and not enough sleep. I was mindful but did not have enough information.

Let’s say I am a character in this story of my life. I am now standing at the base of that hill and beginning to climb the journey of the holiday weekend. As I move up the hill, the sore throat becomes post nasal, add to that sneezing and a runny nose. Now, we know the characters that have joined me. This is not a normal journey, something is wrong, a problem unfolds.

My story is about a once healthy happy person traveling to see family only to find she is sick. But we don’t know what awaits at the top of hill, we don’t know what the end of the story will be. Yet, it is human nature to start making guesses. I know that I have asthma and I work. So it is a natural conclusion that I will find an asthma attack and loss of work waiting on the other side of the hill. I get to the top and whoa, the drop is scarey.

Here at the top, I meet one last character in the story. A hero’s journey story always includes a mentor and in this case, the mentor is the friend who reminded me to re-story. She is the wise woman.

So what does it mean to re-story this story?

As previously mentioned, the conclusion is one of misery, asthma and lost work, therefore lost pay. Pretty dismal and not within my control. What if the story were to end differently? What are the options for this tale? I could die. I could make lots of other people miserable too. I could languish slowly. I could be miserable but get better. I could find a miracle cure. I could just keep moving toward the light and everything would be just fine, maybe a slight loss of pay but nothing too serious. See? Now there are many endings and many choices. This is empowering.

So story is not just the fairy tale or folk tale we tell ourselves or our children. Story is the everyday life we live. When that story isn’t taking the direction we hope for, the one that makes us happy and whole, we can re-story it. Will this solve all our problems to our satisfaction? Important to know that it will not, especially because we cannot control the behaviors of others. We are empowered only in our own choices. But the empowerment to change the course of our lives is there if we choose to accept it. Re-storying is a way to take back your future.