A Elegy for Dad

I have a special journal I call my Book of Everyday Wonders. It is reserved for special shining moments in everyday life.

I never expected to write in it about death, and in fact I didn’t. I wrote about my mom when she passed December 12, 2009 and now about my dad who passed March 13, 2010, but these entries are about wonderful lives, not deaths. They belong in this book because Mom and Dad were beautiful shining moments in my life.

It is impossible to sum up 76 years in a short time, so I didn’t try. Instead I decided to share some highlights.

Mom and Dad were the constants in our lives. Friends, boyfriends, husbands, homes, and jobs changed, but Mom and Dad were always there, to love, to support, to advise, to cheer and to dry a tear.

From Dad, we got solid discipline. We learned to watch our money and to question those things that seemed like givens to everybody else, to be sure it was just right for us. Just because everybody else did it, didn’t mean it was the best decision or in our best interest. He taught us to stand on our own two feet.

From Dad, we learned about hard honest work and to be sure we knew what we were doing. He told us not to sign anything unless we read it. He once told me "Never make a bet you know you can’t win or a promise you can’t keep." You see, Mom and Dad both enjoyed games of chance but Dad also knew that he could only win at those things when he could use his skills. Who would place a bet if he knew he would lose? Not me. Dad taught me better.

Dad taught us the difference between a want and a need. Many times I said "Dad, I need it." If I said I needed a bike, Dad replied "You don’t need a bike, you need transportation. You want a bike." Knowing the difference between a want and a need helps us to be satisfied with what we have. Sometimes he drove us crazy, but it made us better people and more self-reliant.
And Dad was funny. Oh he could annoy us with his slow decision making but he delighted us with his humor, even when we were embarrassed by it.

He’d walk into a store and looking for the security camera, acting like a camera hound, all scrunched down and excited he’d say "Where’s the camera, where’s the camera." We begged him to stop but missed it when he didn’t do it.

Many times, I heard Dad ask a waitress if she had frog legs or chicken wings, then tell her to hop or fly and get him a drink of water. They always smiled at him, he was a charmer with his twinkling blue grey eyes. The server might ask "How was everything?" We all knew his reply before he spoke a word, "I don’t know. I didn’t have everything."

He even shared with me how when he was younger he’d bet the girls a nickle he could kiss them without touching them. Dad always carried a pocket full of quarters. I guess that was an exception to his betting rule.

He played lots of tricks and jokes on us. Every April Fools Day he woke us with the same joke "It’s snowing outside!" We were April Fools, we always fell for it. There was the bloody finger in the box and so many others.

Dad was my BFF, best friend forever, my dance partner, my favorite teacher. He taught me to ride my bike, pulled slivers from my fingers and dug cinders from my knees. He built a life for us that we are proud of, and he was proud of us.

In the end, it was us who worked for him, trying desperately to get him home. But he was in the hands of a higher power. God had a different home in mind for him and he’s there now, with Mom.

When I was four years old, I asked Mom for a new dad. She was divorced and dating. They married on my birthday. He was my best gift ever and I am grateful for the 52 years we had and for everything he gave me.

Dad, you are already missed and I will love you forever.

Scotland the Brave
Hark when the night is fallingHear!
Hear the pipes are calling,
Loudly and proudly calling,
Down thro' the glen.
There where the hills are sleeping,
Now feel the blood a-leaping,
High as the spirits of the old Highland men.

Towering in gallant fame,
Scotland my mountain hame,
High may your proud standards gloriously wave,
Land of my high endeavour,
Land of the shining river,
Land of my heart for ever,
Scotland the brave.

High in the misty Highlands,
Out by the purple islands,
Brave are the hearts that beat Beneath Scottish skies.
Wild are the winds to meet you,
Staunch are the friends that greet you,
Kind as the love that shines from fair maiden's eyes.

Far off in sunlit places,
Sad are the Scottish faces,
Yearning to feel the kiss Of sweet Scottish rain.
Where tropic skies are beaming,
Love sets the heart a-dreaming,
Longing and dreaming for the homeland again.
　
Clan Ranald: My Hope is Constant in Thee
Long Live MacDonald!