Monday, March 29, 2010
Treasure in the Mail
Oh the treasure. There was an overstuffed envelope in my mail Saturday. Opened it last night to finish my day. It was packed full of all sizes, colors, and shapes of thank you notes for the storytelling coaching I did at Nichols School last Friday. One was even an origami note. Seems the kids favorite story that I told was my version of Pandora's Box. And they said that my coaching made their stories better when they performed for the younger children the following week. Love my work :D
Sunday, March 28, 2010
As things get back to normal, sort of.
What a wonderful weekend! The site for the Ice Dragon event was the armory on Connecticut Street in Buffalo, a castle! Congratulations to the event coordinators. That was a lot of work and it all seemed to go very very smoothly. If there were glitches, we didn't see them and that is a tribute too. When the hosts can weave magic for the guests and the guests never see the seams of the tapestry as they move through it, that is success.
I loved meeting some of you for the first time and seeing others I know very well. Thanks for visiting my merchant booth and giving me all those lovely hugs and sweet smiles. Sales were down this year but we paid for the space and made enough to purchase more lovely things for Pennsic.
We had a great time housing guests. They bought us pizza last night and we cooked them a nice little scamble this morning. They are on the road toward home and we are tidying up. Unlike the past several weeks, things are laid back. I even got to plant my windowsill herb garden that Thomas gave me for Christmas. It was so refreshing to get my hands in the dirt.
Now Kashka kitty can come out from hiding, the sun is breaking through the clouds, and we feel alive. Really, could we ask for more than that?
While the road ahead is still very long, the journey is so much easier because you are traveling by our sides.
Love to all!
I loved meeting some of you for the first time and seeing others I know very well. Thanks for visiting my merchant booth and giving me all those lovely hugs and sweet smiles. Sales were down this year but we paid for the space and made enough to purchase more lovely things for Pennsic.
We had a great time housing guests. They bought us pizza last night and we cooked them a nice little scamble this morning. They are on the road toward home and we are tidying up. Unlike the past several weeks, things are laid back. I even got to plant my windowsill herb garden that Thomas gave me for Christmas. It was so refreshing to get my hands in the dirt.
Now Kashka kitty can come out from hiding, the sun is breaking through the clouds, and we feel alive. Really, could we ask for more than that?
While the road ahead is still very long, the journey is so much easier because you are traveling by our sides.
Love to all!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Aftermath, Part II: An Epic Hero's Journey: The Determined Storyteller in the Battle against the Cave Monster
The Determined Storyteller stood with the healer, Edge, gazing into the crystal pool of seeing. Edge waved his hand above the waters.
"DS, I see no other monsters in this cave. We slew the one and it had no seeds, but we can never be certain."
"What does this mean?" asked our inquisitive heroine.
"You must endure lightening strikes DS but you may choose whether you wish to walk through fire."
"Why healer? Why would I choose to walk through fire if I do not have to?"
Edge waved his hand once more over the water and the DS saw a monster much like the one she had slain with Edge’s help.
"Sometimes this creature will replicate itself and live elsewhere. But DS, the chance is very small that you will see it again."
The Determined Storyteller understood.
Should she endure fire and lightening to make sure that she is truly rid of this monster? Or should she choose the lightening alone?
As she contemplated this she heard a voice inside her head, "We are given choices and journeys for a reason. You must figure out why you have been given this task."
Will the Determined Storyteller endure both fire and lightening, or will she choose only the one? Stay tuned for the next episode in the Aftermath.
"DS, I see no other monsters in this cave. We slew the one and it had no seeds, but we can never be certain."
"What does this mean?" asked our inquisitive heroine.
"You must endure lightening strikes DS but you may choose whether you wish to walk through fire."
"Why healer? Why would I choose to walk through fire if I do not have to?"
Edge waved his hand once more over the water and the DS saw a monster much like the one she had slain with Edge’s help.
"Sometimes this creature will replicate itself and live elsewhere. But DS, the chance is very small that you will see it again."
The Determined Storyteller understood.
Should she endure fire and lightening to make sure that she is truly rid of this monster? Or should she choose the lightening alone?
As she contemplated this she heard a voice inside her head, "We are given choices and journeys for a reason. You must figure out why you have been given this task."
Will the Determined Storyteller endure both fire and lightening, or will she choose only the one? Stay tuned for the next episode in the Aftermath.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Aftermath, Part I: An Epic Hero's Journey: The Determined Storyteller in the Battle against the Cave Monster
Aftermath: Part I.
In a hero's journey, the hero will be reluctant, accepting and eventually complete a task. Sometimes this is the end of the story, but in many cases there will be a rebuilding or wrap-up of the story called an aftermath.
In the story of the Determined Storyteller and the Cave Monster, the DS defeated the monster but with cancer, removal of the tumor does not mean the end of the journey. Sometimes it requires chemotherapy and radiation treatments to be sure that no rogue cells traveled to other organs or parts of the body. These treatments will often not begin until a month after surgery and the DS will not know what her future holds until she visits the healers a week after surgery for her post operative visit. It will be years before the healers proclaim complete remission, there is always a chance the monster will return. Thus Part I of the Aftermath just to keep readers informed of her progress.
Having defeated the monster in the cave, our illustrious heroine, the Determined Storyteller wounded and bandaged in the Towel of the Galaxy, was carried from the cave by the Healer and Seer known as Edge. Her armies chanted healing songs for her.
The DS was placed in a mountain pool, beneath a waterfall of clear fresh, not overly cold but mildly warm water, that trickled across her aching shoulders and tired back. The dressings of her wounds were removed to reveal the able work of the healer, Edge. And soon she awakened from her magic sleep to find her father once more in the keeping of angels and healers who worked tirelessly to remove the stubborn ogre from his chest.
A mighty cheer went up from the army who waited news of her status. And it was proclaimed that the Determined Storyteller would remain Determined, though scarred from battle, she would go on to fight again wherever she was needed.
Was her battle with the monster at an end? Not quite. He might return someday but not for a long time. Yet, she might need endure fire to make sure that no others were left behind. All will be revealed in the days to come.
The DS will prevail!
In a hero's journey, the hero will be reluctant, accepting and eventually complete a task. Sometimes this is the end of the story, but in many cases there will be a rebuilding or wrap-up of the story called an aftermath.
In the story of the Determined Storyteller and the Cave Monster, the DS defeated the monster but with cancer, removal of the tumor does not mean the end of the journey. Sometimes it requires chemotherapy and radiation treatments to be sure that no rogue cells traveled to other organs or parts of the body. These treatments will often not begin until a month after surgery and the DS will not know what her future holds until she visits the healers a week after surgery for her post operative visit. It will be years before the healers proclaim complete remission, there is always a chance the monster will return. Thus Part I of the Aftermath just to keep readers informed of her progress.
Having defeated the monster in the cave, our illustrious heroine, the Determined Storyteller wounded and bandaged in the Towel of the Galaxy, was carried from the cave by the Healer and Seer known as Edge. Her armies chanted healing songs for her.
The DS was placed in a mountain pool, beneath a waterfall of clear fresh, not overly cold but mildly warm water, that trickled across her aching shoulders and tired back. The dressings of her wounds were removed to reveal the able work of the healer, Edge. And soon she awakened from her magic sleep to find her father once more in the keeping of angels and healers who worked tirelessly to remove the stubborn ogre from his chest.
A mighty cheer went up from the army who waited news of her status. And it was proclaimed that the Determined Storyteller would remain Determined, though scarred from battle, she would go on to fight again wherever she was needed.
Was her battle with the monster at an end? Not quite. He might return someday but not for a long time. Yet, she might need endure fire to make sure that no others were left behind. All will be revealed in the days to come.
The DS will prevail!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Final Installment: An Epic Hero's Journey: The Determined Storyteller in the Battle against the Cave Monster: The Final Foray
Drawing deep from the magic fountain at her father’s castle, a pure “spring of strength that when sipped imparts refreshment and healing,” the Determined Storyteller returned to the cave to finally see the face of the monster. Healers advised her that he was not alone but was the only one with any power, and that power was small. The next morning, just at sunrise, the DS would meet her foe.
The Determined Storyteller entered the monster's cave, but her way was blocked by a great Seer and Healer known to all as Edge. She gazed into the Seer's pool. "The monster is as small as it can be but we cannot know as yet if it has spread its seeds throughout the cave. Yet know this DS, you shall not lose as much as had troubled your brow. Though your brow may be more visual to the world.”
The armies of the DS could not enter the small cave with her but remained fully armed and at the ready should she need them.
Edge escorted the DS into the cave and with swords drawn the battle began.
“Do not look into his face DS!” the Healer warned. “Use the mirrored shield to guide you. I will cut off his retreat.”
The Blessed Blade flashed as the DS tossed glowing orbs into the darkness. Singing Happy Birthday as she went (for some unknown reason this song holds great power), the DS glanced into the shield and saw a tiny being cowering in the corner. Looking much like a ragged old man the DS approached with caution. As she did the being leapt full force upon her, biting deep into the flesh beneath her arm. The DS tossed him free, Edge struck at him from behind but he leapt once more, biting straight through the platinum breastplate of our heroine. She cried in pain but found her courage “Rannvieger!!!!!,” she cried. And the Blessed Sword bit into the creature’s side. The Healer Edge thrust his blade too and together the monster was slain.
The Healer acted quickly to stay the bleeding in the DS’s chest by wrapping the magic towel of the galaxy around the wound. The DS swooned and was carried from the cave, laid before her army and they began to chant a healing song. Edge returned to the cave to seek any young that might have been planted in the cave walls only to return to tell the assembled that none were found and the DS’s battle against the monster was complete.
Only the days ahead will tell what healing remains for our stalwart heroine. Her armies know she has the courage and will prevail. The DS knows that without her armies and the grace of higher powers she would be nothing and she is grateful.
The war is not over but the battle is won.
Drawing deep from the magic fountain at her father’s castle, a pure “spring of strength that when sipped imparts refreshment and healing,” the Determined Storyteller returned to the cave to finally see the face of the monster. Healers advised her that he was not alone but was the only one with any power, and that power was small. The next morning, just at sunrise, the DS would meet her foe.
The Determined Storyteller entered the monster's cave, but her way was blocked by a great Seer and Healer known to all as Edge. She gazed into the Seer's pool. "The monster is as small as it can be but we cannot know as yet if it has spread its seeds throughout the cave. Yet know this DS, you shall not lose as much as had troubled your brow. Though your brow may be more visual to the world.”
The armies of the DS could not enter the small cave with her but remained fully armed and at the ready should she need them.
Edge escorted the DS into the cave and with swords drawn the battle began.
“Do not look into his face DS!” the Healer warned. “Use the mirrored shield to guide you. I will cut off his retreat.”
The Blessed Blade flashed as the DS tossed glowing orbs into the darkness. Singing Happy Birthday as she went (for some unknown reason this song holds great power), the DS glanced into the shield and saw a tiny being cowering in the corner. Looking much like a ragged old man the DS approached with caution. As she did the being leapt full force upon her, biting deep into the flesh beneath her arm. The DS tossed him free, Edge struck at him from behind but he leapt once more, biting straight through the platinum breastplate of our heroine. She cried in pain but found her courage “Rannvieger!!!!!,” she cried. And the Blessed Sword bit into the creature’s side. The Healer Edge thrust his blade too and together the monster was slain.
The Healer acted quickly to stay the bleeding in the DS’s chest by wrapping the magic towel of the galaxy around the wound. The DS swooned and was carried from the cave, laid before her army and they began to chant a healing song. Edge returned to the cave to seek any young that might have been planted in the cave walls only to return to tell the assembled that none were found and the DS’s battle against the monster was complete.
Only the days ahead will tell what healing remains for our stalwart heroine. Her armies know she has the courage and will prevail. The DS knows that without her armies and the grace of higher powers she would be nothing and she is grateful.
The war is not over but the battle is won.
Installment Six: An Epic Hero's Journey: The Determined Storyteller in the Battle against the Cave Monster: Battles on Many Fronts
Installment Six: Battle on Many Fronts
When last we saw the Determined Storyteller, she rested comfortably with her armies near the Healing Pool. Challenged by the monster in the cave that called itself “Cancer!” the DS received yet another call to go to her father’s aid. His castle was under attack. The Determined Storyteller could have remained at the cave to see the face of the monster revealed by the Healers or go to her father’s rescue. But was it really a choice? No. She knew what she had to do and her armies departed for the castle.
The forces of darkness were already deeply entrenched by the time the DS arrived. Defeating them would not be easy and the battle raged for weeks only to the find the DS father cast out of his lands and into an unknown dangerous wood where he alone could travel and he alone must defeat his foe.
Leaving angels and warriors to watch over the wild woods, our heroine returned once more to the cave where the monster shouted, “Storyteller! There are more here waiting for you, and one larger than me!”
The hideous creature’s plan was to undermine the courage of our heroine and it would seem to be doing its work for the DS was now uncertain if she had the strength and courage to fight more than one at a time. She sought the healers for their advice.
“Oh storyteller,” they replied. While there are others in the cave, the monster lies. The largest of them is harmless, toothless, and benign. You can easily pass them and defeat this tiny monster with such a large voice. His bite is puny.”
Relieved and renewed by their wisdom, the Determined Storyteller, sharpened her sword and waiting patiently until she would have all the facts that surrounded this foe. “Tis good to know your enemy. It is easier then to defeat him.”
And now came an old and trusted friend of the DS, Robert of Bajak who deployed prayer warriors and angels to encamp around her. The army grew, some still working to defend her father who was trapped in the wild wood with an ogre sitting on his chest. This friend, RB went to warrior women that he knew who have successfully defeated these creatures of darkness and shared the saga with them. Approving of the candor and offensive the DS had adopted, the warrior women proclaimed that she has the heart of a warrior and added their support. They sent RB on his way with much positive energy to be absorbed by the DS. The Determined Storyteller was grateful beyond words.
The battle at the castle of the Determined Storyteller's father was now at a watchful rest, but some of her warriors had been called away to tend their own battles. In honor of friends who are on the unknown journey for their own loved ones this day, the D.S. dispatched angels and warriors their way. Oh faithful friends, you are not alone. And we will overcome.
When last we saw the Determined Storyteller, she rested comfortably with her armies near the Healing Pool. Challenged by the monster in the cave that called itself “Cancer!” the DS received yet another call to go to her father’s aid. His castle was under attack. The Determined Storyteller could have remained at the cave to see the face of the monster revealed by the Healers or go to her father’s rescue. But was it really a choice? No. She knew what she had to do and her armies departed for the castle.
The forces of darkness were already deeply entrenched by the time the DS arrived. Defeating them would not be easy and the battle raged for weeks only to the find the DS father cast out of his lands and into an unknown dangerous wood where he alone could travel and he alone must defeat his foe.
Leaving angels and warriors to watch over the wild woods, our heroine returned once more to the cave where the monster shouted, “Storyteller! There are more here waiting for you, and one larger than me!”
The hideous creature’s plan was to undermine the courage of our heroine and it would seem to be doing its work for the DS was now uncertain if she had the strength and courage to fight more than one at a time. She sought the healers for their advice.
“Oh storyteller,” they replied. While there are others in the cave, the monster lies. The largest of them is harmless, toothless, and benign. You can easily pass them and defeat this tiny monster with such a large voice. His bite is puny.”
Relieved and renewed by their wisdom, the Determined Storyteller, sharpened her sword and waiting patiently until she would have all the facts that surrounded this foe. “Tis good to know your enemy. It is easier then to defeat him.”
And now came an old and trusted friend of the DS, Robert of Bajak who deployed prayer warriors and angels to encamp around her. The army grew, some still working to defend her father who was trapped in the wild wood with an ogre sitting on his chest. This friend, RB went to warrior women that he knew who have successfully defeated these creatures of darkness and shared the saga with them. Approving of the candor and offensive the DS had adopted, the warrior women proclaimed that she has the heart of a warrior and added their support. They sent RB on his way with much positive energy to be absorbed by the DS. The Determined Storyteller was grateful beyond words.
The battle at the castle of the Determined Storyteller's father was now at a watchful rest, but some of her warriors had been called away to tend their own battles. In honor of friends who are on the unknown journey for their own loved ones this day, the D.S. dispatched angels and warriors their way. Oh faithful friends, you are not alone. And we will overcome.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Installment Five: An Epic Hero's Journey: The Determined Storyteller in the Battle against the Cave Monster: The Healing Pool
Installment Five: The Healing Pool
When last we saw our courageous DS, she heard for the first time, the monster in the cave. He threatened her but the Determined Storyteller would not be daunted. Our heroine also faced a new foe, one that attacked her father and she was forced to choose which way to turn.
Even as the DS turned to aid her father, she heard a sound from inside a cave niche that beckoned to her and she knew she must follow.
Inside the niche the DS saw a healing pool but as she neared the sound that called grew louder and became a drone. There was a bed of rock on which the DS was compelled to lie prone, face down and still. A light appeared and moved over her, a magical test from an unseen source. And then Van Morrison was singing in her ears...”It's a marvelous night for a moondance,” and “On the bright side of the road.” She wanted to dance but couldn't, but in her mind she boogied down and she smiled.
Leaving the cave once more, our smiling heroine met legends of angels and warriors who gathered around her and they marched to defend her father’s castle.
The minions of darkness were no match for the light and the DS’s father was released from their grasp. He was floated safely on the wings of light to another plane to rest and recuperate.
Our heroine, she who shags out dust bunnies and dirty dishes, turned once more to the cave of the monster who had called her to battle. She knew she would be tested many times in the days to come and when all is ready she will face that invader of darkness. Its face would soon be revealed.
Entering the niche once more, the DS closed her eyes beside a still pool and felt her breath and found her inner self. “I surrender not to the enemy but to that which must be done. Come oh courage for we will not fail. We will be victorious.”
Though she could not yet see its face, the Determined Storyteller heard the monster call again, "There are more of us, you know. And one bigger than I. We will destroy you!"
The calm of the healing pool surrounded the DS, she asked the powers that be to gaze again into their magic pool to see if these creatures did exist or if the monster was trying to trick her into submission. “I will not be defeated or daunted or stopped,” she said. Yet “truth” was not yet within her grasp.
She prepared for sleep, knowing that in the morning she may be called to visit the wise healer who would reveal the monster's secrets. Though her mind swam with thoughts, exhaustion of the journey carried her to dreams. Angels guarded her and the mighty army of warriors as they found peaceful slumber.
Let go your cares for night has come and we are meant to rest.
When last we saw our courageous DS, she heard for the first time, the monster in the cave. He threatened her but the Determined Storyteller would not be daunted. Our heroine also faced a new foe, one that attacked her father and she was forced to choose which way to turn.
Even as the DS turned to aid her father, she heard a sound from inside a cave niche that beckoned to her and she knew she must follow.
Inside the niche the DS saw a healing pool but as she neared the sound that called grew louder and became a drone. There was a bed of rock on which the DS was compelled to lie prone, face down and still. A light appeared and moved over her, a magical test from an unseen source. And then Van Morrison was singing in her ears...”It's a marvelous night for a moondance,” and “On the bright side of the road.” She wanted to dance but couldn't, but in her mind she boogied down and she smiled.
Leaving the cave once more, our smiling heroine met legends of angels and warriors who gathered around her and they marched to defend her father’s castle.
The minions of darkness were no match for the light and the DS’s father was released from their grasp. He was floated safely on the wings of light to another plane to rest and recuperate.
Our heroine, she who shags out dust bunnies and dirty dishes, turned once more to the cave of the monster who had called her to battle. She knew she would be tested many times in the days to come and when all is ready she will face that invader of darkness. Its face would soon be revealed.
Entering the niche once more, the DS closed her eyes beside a still pool and felt her breath and found her inner self. “I surrender not to the enemy but to that which must be done. Come oh courage for we will not fail. We will be victorious.”
Though she could not yet see its face, the Determined Storyteller heard the monster call again, "There are more of us, you know. And one bigger than I. We will destroy you!"
The calm of the healing pool surrounded the DS, she asked the powers that be to gaze again into their magic pool to see if these creatures did exist or if the monster was trying to trick her into submission. “I will not be defeated or daunted or stopped,” she said. Yet “truth” was not yet within her grasp.
She prepared for sleep, knowing that in the morning she may be called to visit the wise healer who would reveal the monster's secrets. Though her mind swam with thoughts, exhaustion of the journey carried her to dreams. Angels guarded her and the mighty army of warriors as they found peaceful slumber.
Let go your cares for night has come and we are meant to rest.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Dealing with Healing and Grief
With so much going on in my life for the past six weeks, or six months if you count all the loss, I have come to a point of realizing the need to find ways to cope. I am a very strong person who believes there are no accidents in life and everything we go through has a purpose, but when in the middle of so much shadow and turmoil, it is also necessary to deal with the real feelings.
There are times I have felt my heart racing and my stomach turning. There have been times of so much sorrow I think I might explode. And also times of remarkable peace. It has been interesting to try to figure out when these feelings come and go, what causes them and find ways to use them beneficially.
For instance, recently after visiting my dad in the hospital and realizing we may be losing him in spite of all our energy and effort to save a beautiful man, I came to a place of knowing that I needed Dad Free Zones and Times. It doesn't mean I don't love him. My love for my dad is deeper than almost any love I have for anyone, which is what makes losing him so painful. But without these zones, I might go crazy. And it is hard because my dad has a real zest for life. He is my best teacher, my jitterbug partner and a hard worker. Every time I turn around I find myself in the middle of something I know he would love, including dinner time. But dinner time has to be a Dad Free Time. The same is true of my own health issues right now. They are not allowed at dinner or TV time with Thomas. If my mind starts to wander, Thomas has permission to change the subject, and I can do the same for him.
I also discovered that if I feel myself slipping into morose, I can suck on a lemon wedge. I was reminded by a friend that this may not be good for my teeth, so I will remember to rinse afterward. But nothing brings you back to reality like a sour lemon.
Time also slips away quickly when you are worried about a loved one, your health, or almost anything. It is easy to lose track of important engagements and deadlines. Take lots of notes, a deep breath, and just do what you can in small bits.
Also, allow yourself to feel. Just as Stress Free Zones are necessary, it is also necessary to cry, scream, throw a tantrum (for yourself within safe settings) or punch a punching bag. Hold a good old fashioned pity party, but make sure you come back into the light.
There are times I have felt my heart racing and my stomach turning. There have been times of so much sorrow I think I might explode. And also times of remarkable peace. It has been interesting to try to figure out when these feelings come and go, what causes them and find ways to use them beneficially.
For instance, recently after visiting my dad in the hospital and realizing we may be losing him in spite of all our energy and effort to save a beautiful man, I came to a place of knowing that I needed Dad Free Zones and Times. It doesn't mean I don't love him. My love for my dad is deeper than almost any love I have for anyone, which is what makes losing him so painful. But without these zones, I might go crazy. And it is hard because my dad has a real zest for life. He is my best teacher, my jitterbug partner and a hard worker. Every time I turn around I find myself in the middle of something I know he would love, including dinner time. But dinner time has to be a Dad Free Time. The same is true of my own health issues right now. They are not allowed at dinner or TV time with Thomas. If my mind starts to wander, Thomas has permission to change the subject, and I can do the same for him.
I also discovered that if I feel myself slipping into morose, I can suck on a lemon wedge. I was reminded by a friend that this may not be good for my teeth, so I will remember to rinse afterward. But nothing brings you back to reality like a sour lemon.
Time also slips away quickly when you are worried about a loved one, your health, or almost anything. It is easy to lose track of important engagements and deadlines. Take lots of notes, a deep breath, and just do what you can in small bits.
Also, allow yourself to feel. Just as Stress Free Zones are necessary, it is also necessary to cry, scream, throw a tantrum (for yourself within safe settings) or punch a punching bag. Hold a good old fashioned pity party, but make sure you come back into the light.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Looking for Miracles / Finding Grace
Yes I am hoping for a huge miracle for my dad as things do not look promising right now. And as for my own diagnosis, I don't want to deal with this. But I'm not the first woman to go through it and I am lucky it has been found early. That's a miracle. I think my doctor is a hero for finding it.
The miracle of my parent's 51 years together is something to acknowledge and perhaps their deep love for each other is why dad now stands at the door. And there is the miracle of Gilda's Club finding me before we knew we needed each other.
It is human nature to try to make sense of the senseless and to understand why and how something happens. It is part of the grieving process too. There is a need to order things in some way to help ourselves cope, it is empowering.
So I find myself asking, why did we lose our old old dog, followed by my mom, now possibly my dad and why did I get my diagnosis at the same time? First reaction is to say it just isn't fair! But does fairness really have anything to do with it? Is there any sense that can be made of it?
Here is something I've been thinking about, though it really doesn't make it hurt any less, it does help me see the forces that work through our lives and perhaps it helps to let go a little and give the reins to a higher power.
When our dog Merlin was younger we used to take him everywhere with us, but in his last two years he couldn't go anywhere and Thomas carried him up and down the stairs. That meant we could not travel together. We looked for the silver lining and realized after he passed, we could now travel and had planned a nice vacation, however things have altered those plans slightly. The good news is that I don't have to be alone.
Anyway, if Merlin were still alive, we could not have been together away from home to help my dad with mom's affairs or to help dad now. And Dad was mom's caregiver. If she were still alive when he is now so ill, I don't think she would have done too well with it. As for me, neither of parents may ever know what I am going through and that is a blessing. Is that a miracle too? And how about the fact that I had some regular storytelling programs cancelled due to the economy and testing, and some that decided to move their programs to April, May and June. Now I won't have to cancel them or at least can make other arrangements around them.
As much as I don't want to have any of this to deal with, I sure can see the miracles at work and I think maybe some angels are looking over my shoulder.
My goal is to keep moving forward with everything I do and plan to do, to be as cheerful and happy as I can, and if you ask me how I am doing, expect me to turn it back to you. How are you doing? That is how I am doing.
The miracle of my parent's 51 years together is something to acknowledge and perhaps their deep love for each other is why dad now stands at the door. And there is the miracle of Gilda's Club finding me before we knew we needed each other.
It is human nature to try to make sense of the senseless and to understand why and how something happens. It is part of the grieving process too. There is a need to order things in some way to help ourselves cope, it is empowering.
So I find myself asking, why did we lose our old old dog, followed by my mom, now possibly my dad and why did I get my diagnosis at the same time? First reaction is to say it just isn't fair! But does fairness really have anything to do with it? Is there any sense that can be made of it?
Here is something I've been thinking about, though it really doesn't make it hurt any less, it does help me see the forces that work through our lives and perhaps it helps to let go a little and give the reins to a higher power.
When our dog Merlin was younger we used to take him everywhere with us, but in his last two years he couldn't go anywhere and Thomas carried him up and down the stairs. That meant we could not travel together. We looked for the silver lining and realized after he passed, we could now travel and had planned a nice vacation, however things have altered those plans slightly. The good news is that I don't have to be alone.
Anyway, if Merlin were still alive, we could not have been together away from home to help my dad with mom's affairs or to help dad now. And Dad was mom's caregiver. If she were still alive when he is now so ill, I don't think she would have done too well with it. As for me, neither of parents may ever know what I am going through and that is a blessing. Is that a miracle too? And how about the fact that I had some regular storytelling programs cancelled due to the economy and testing, and some that decided to move their programs to April, May and June. Now I won't have to cancel them or at least can make other arrangements around them.
As much as I don't want to have any of this to deal with, I sure can see the miracles at work and I think maybe some angels are looking over my shoulder.
My goal is to keep moving forward with everything I do and plan to do, to be as cheerful and happy as I can, and if you ask me how I am doing, expect me to turn it back to you. How are you doing? That is how I am doing.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
An Epic Hero's Journey: The Determined Storyteller in the Battle against the Cave Monster: The Battle for Father
Installment Four: The Battle for Father
Having fought the Gatekeeper and being given passage to the cave interiors, The Determined Storyteller’s wounds were cared for by her many friends, and army that gathered. Still uncertain of her destiny, the DS arms herself to face an unknown enemy. She is given a platinum breastplate, the Blessed Blade, a magic torch, a basket of glowing orbs, and a bodyguard.
More determined than ever to find the courage needed to take this journey our trusty heroine was knocked from her feet by an unseen force and called to help her father whose castle was suddenly and unpredictably under attack. How can our Determined Storyteller fight on two fronts? How can anyone be expected to succeed in such a quest?
Turning to leave the cave to go to her father’s aid the DS finds a great and mighty army has gathered with bows and spears and a company of angels. Perhaps there is hope. But from inside the cave, even as she gives the command to march, a sinister voice is heard.
“Foolish Mortal! I am CANCER and I have you now!"
Turning back toward the cave for one brief moment before going to her father the DS replied in an even and forthright tone, "Oh yeh sucker, well come and taste my blade."
Will the DS and her army stay to fight the monster or help her father first? Will the monster in the cave show itself in the light or cower in the dark? Will the DS’s father be rescued?
Stayed tuned for part Five: The Healing Pool
Having fought the Gatekeeper and being given passage to the cave interiors, The Determined Storyteller’s wounds were cared for by her many friends, and army that gathered. Still uncertain of her destiny, the DS arms herself to face an unknown enemy. She is given a platinum breastplate, the Blessed Blade, a magic torch, a basket of glowing orbs, and a bodyguard.
More determined than ever to find the courage needed to take this journey our trusty heroine was knocked from her feet by an unseen force and called to help her father whose castle was suddenly and unpredictably under attack. How can our Determined Storyteller fight on two fronts? How can anyone be expected to succeed in such a quest?
Turning to leave the cave to go to her father’s aid the DS finds a great and mighty army has gathered with bows and spears and a company of angels. Perhaps there is hope. But from inside the cave, even as she gives the command to march, a sinister voice is heard.
“Foolish Mortal! I am CANCER and I have you now!"
Turning back toward the cave for one brief moment before going to her father the DS replied in an even and forthright tone, "Oh yeh sucker, well come and taste my blade."
Will the DS and her army stay to fight the monster or help her father first? Will the monster in the cave show itself in the light or cower in the dark? Will the DS’s father be rescued?
Stayed tuned for part Five: The Healing Pool
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
An Epic Hero's Journey: The Determined Storyteller in the Battle against the Cave Monster: the GateKeeper
Installment Three: The Gatekeeper
In the Determined Storyteller’s journey now begun in our last episode, she entered a mysterious dark cave without fear for the light of many friends who gathered around her lighted her way.
Entering the cave the DS was startled to find the Gatekeeper, the one who stands between all heroes and the quest. Neither male nor female but a cat of large proportions the Gatekeeper’s voice echoed from the cave walls.
"All who enter here must first pass me. I am here to help you but it will not be easy."
In one swift move the Gatekeeper’s mighty claw lashed out wounding our stalwart heroine and withdrawing blood and flesh. The DS felt a fury like no other and a will to strike back, only to have a gentle paw placed upon her sword hand.
“Strike me not oh Hero, for you have passed the first test. Those of us who have been sent to help you in your quest now know the path that opens before you. Save your fury for the monster you must slay.”
The Determined Storyteller wished to ask more questions but sensed that answers would be revealed not at this time, but later. She sheathed her sword.
In the Determined Storyteller’s journey now begun in our last episode, she entered a mysterious dark cave without fear for the light of many friends who gathered around her lighted her way.
Entering the cave the DS was startled to find the Gatekeeper, the one who stands between all heroes and the quest. Neither male nor female but a cat of large proportions the Gatekeeper’s voice echoed from the cave walls.
"All who enter here must first pass me. I am here to help you but it will not be easy."
In one swift move the Gatekeeper’s mighty claw lashed out wounding our stalwart heroine and withdrawing blood and flesh. The DS felt a fury like no other and a will to strike back, only to have a gentle paw placed upon her sword hand.
“Strike me not oh Hero, for you have passed the first test. Those of us who have been sent to help you in your quest now know the path that opens before you. Save your fury for the monster you must slay.”
The Determined Storyteller wished to ask more questions but sensed that answers would be revealed not at this time, but later. She sheathed her sword.
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